her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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