I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Just cropdusted the office
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
