K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
sarcasm needs its own font
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
