Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Bring me that man meat
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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