drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
