Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
