it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
