Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
