My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
