I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
She's not a foreskin expert like you
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
