Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Randomize
