I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
