I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
My breasts were aching with rage.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
