I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
