Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
