she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
