I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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