I cannot find my penis.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
