john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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