nut hugger
why didn't you poke me back
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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