Got a toothbrush?
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
