remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
