My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
