did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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