You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
