Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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