I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
