honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize
