oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
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