Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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