i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Just high enough for therapy.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
