Sponge bath it is.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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