remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
