Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Randomize
