Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
