idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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