So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
what day is it and did you see me today?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
