You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
