you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
