I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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