Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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