Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
