My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
