Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
