I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
porn star boner night. come get it.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
