I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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