there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
