i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I faked an abortion last night.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
