wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
