Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I licked your asshole in confidence.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
